A few weeks ago, I started reading The Writer's Idea Book by Jack Heffron. Nothing has hit me as hard as the first couple of sentences from the introduction.
"Writing is an act of hope. It is a means of carving order from chaos, of challenging one's own beliefs and assumptions, of facing the world with eyes and heart wide open. Through writing we declare a personal identity amid faceless anonymity... Writing, therefore, is also an act of courage. How much easier is it to lead an unexamined life than to confront yourself on the page?"
Wrapping my mind around writing has been a challenge that I have lived with most of my life. It has also been a freeing task that has opened my heart to the unknown. I believe that my heart and mind are injured, closed, feared, and scared. I, for the sake of myself, need to open up to the people who love me. Number one on that list - ME. Through writing, I am searching for the real Tina. The life that has not really lived.
Looking back on my life, I realize that I have lived for others. Apologizing for actions and fates that are beyond me and my control. I have lived in fear of retaliation of others - whether through words, hands, or judgement. I have reached a time in my life that I am no longer going to apologize for who I am, what I think, and what I say. Through Jack Heffron's Introduction, the goal is clear, but the path is unpaved.
With an unpaved path and a goal, can I really make my life my own? Can I really start living for myself after 38 years of living for others? I don't know, but I guess part of what Heffron says is that writing takes courage and it also opens up that feeling of hope.
With that being said, I have some goals that I have set for my life. End date - Unknown
1. To have a success blog that will not only help me develop into the person I want to be, but also reach those who have the same struggles I do.
2. Write a book. I have been gathering information and stories that I want to include in my book and now is the time to start writing.
3. Lose 20 more pounds. I have already lost 40. I am not sure that 60 pounds is going to make me feel better about myself, but knowing that I am healthy again would be a great leap in my self discovery.
